9 Surefire Methods to TOTALLY Get People to Read your Student Affairs Blog!

Student affairs blogging is a popular hobby/side hustle/personal reflection tool/academic writing method. There is so much freedom on the internet that anyone can publish a blog post, thus there are a plethora of student affairs blogs out there. So how to make sure people read yours? Enjoy these helpful tips (that are especially helpful for more seasoned SA pros)!

1. Trick them into clicking the link by using a sassy title that sounds like it came from a Buzzfeed intern.
2. “Neg” the reader. Not only is “negging” a method that pick-up artists (PUAs, aka P-U they are gross) use, but so can you! Negging would be where the writer emotionally manipulates the reader by insulting them or being sarcastically mean in order to keep them reading.
3. Perpetuate systems of oppression that seep into our everyday lives, like commenting how people shake hands without realizing you’re being ableist or complaining about how angry people sound when you’re white and hetero and ‘they’ include people of color, LGBTQ+ folks, and QTPOC.
4. When people call you on how oppression is trickling through your blog post like a busted septic tank trickles into a basement, ignore them. Just keep drinking your craft beer.
5. If you choose to get into the comments of your post (because more comments = increased reader traffic, woohoo!), conjure your internal politician or Hollywood executive, and tell the commenters that you are sorry they feel that way. This way, you say the words “sorry” while resting the blame squarely on them for not understanding your brilliance. Silly peasants, mwahaha!
6. If the comments become too much for you, just delete them. Keep the comments that agree with you tho, because its the victors that write history, amirite?
7. When someone greatly respected in the field disagrees with you, make sure someone (a friend, or perhaps a boss?) with more identity privileges than the dissenter sees their post, and then writes a pedantic letter to the dissenter.
8. If all else fails, delete the blog post and pretend that nothing ever happened! You’re still a Student Affairs Darling! Go book your next speech.
9. If you didn’t delete the blog post, be sure to repost it every year and run through steps 5 and 6 again. Constantly refresh your blog’s traffic page while petting a fluffy white cat and chuckling darkly.

This blog post was brought to you by the letter S for “satire” and the concept of “punching up and not down”.